I Never Meant to Become a Feminist

I never meant to become a feminist but I did anyway.

Because we have tried to silence women who stand up for themselves by turning feminism into a dirty word.

Because if I had a dollar for every time I was interrupted or overlooked then maybe I would earn equal wages.

Because I want to be able to walk to the grocery store without being harassed.

Because I don’t need your whistled stamp of approval to know that I am beautiful.

Because we live in a culture where the girl is “asking for it” but she doesn’t dare ask to be left alone.

Because it is my body, not yours, and that means I get to decide how it is treated.

Because it is better to put on lipstick and not let boys be mean to you.

Because it takes away the shame of never being enough and replaces it with pride in who you are.

Because my mother was sexually abused and no one did anything about it.

Because my sister in law was sexually abused and no one did anything about it.

Because my best friend was sexually abused and no one did anything about it.

Because one out of every four women are sexually abused and no one does anything about it.

Because I had to learn martial arts just to feel safe in my own skin.

Because enough is enough.

Because it breaks my heart but it is easier to just be angry.

I never meant to become a feminist, but I didn’t like the alternative.


Photo Credit: French by Design

The Roads We Walk

“But you have got to remind yourself over and over again that there are no destinations in life.  Only roads.”  – Christin Mihai

Raod fork

I am constantly reminded of how life goes exactly the opposite way of how I planned it.  Life is fickle that way.  Sometimes I feel like Matt Hires sings this song just for me . . .

Darling, nothing ever goes exactly how you planned it
I guess I’ve been here long enough to see
That time can be your dearest friend
Or time can be a bandit
When tomorrow changes into history

And oh my my, honey everybody dies
But you got, you got to see
That you can live your life walking in a straight line
But it’s more than just A to B

Maybe it’ll find you lying peaceful under blankets
Or bleeding at the bottom of the stairs
Oh but it’s not when or how you go
It’s life and what you make it
It’s the traveling, not the road that gets you there

-Matt Hires, A to B; see full lyrics here

I am finding that even when life doesn’t go how I planned it, it goes exactly as it was meant to. Unfortunately that is something I can only understand in hindsight.  At the time I am simply frustrated.  Which makes me wonder if that is why we so often we prefer to live in memories of the past, because that is the only part of our life that can make sense of.

When we are young it can be easy to forget how long life is.  To us it seems short and slippery.  Like we have to hold onto every second for dear life lest it slip right through our fingers and be gone forever.  Time is fickle, and life never works like it should.  We become discouraged, or we believe that maybe we were foolish to try.  But we pray for rain even though we want sunshine, and we must allow ourselves to take steps backwards even though we want to take steps forward.

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