I have always been fast. Ever since I could walk, I started running and I didn’t stop. It’s just in my blood. I want to go, I want to move. I never saw this a problem until recently. Life has turned into a blur. I can barely separate the days out from the last year. Christmas has come and gone months ago. Now spring is here begging for my attention.
How did this happen without my notice? I thought this was just something that happened when you get older. When you no longer have a school calendar to break up your time, everything kind of runs together. I started to get nervous. I am only 24. Am I going to blink and wake up 50? Life was moving too fast, and I was letting it. Where am I in such a rush to get? Certainly not my death, so where? Where am I going that is going to be so much better than where I am?
Something was wrong, something needed to change.
I woke up, another Monday morning, another week laid out in front of me. All mornings are tough, but Monday mornings are notoriously tough. I woke up this morning thinking of all the things I would have to survive this week before the sweet beautiful weekend arrived once again. You are probably reading this thinking, “I feel ya sista” without a second thought as to how backwards this way of thinking is. Since when did life become something we need to survive?
It is hard to just be. There is so much uncertainty that surrounds us. We begin to notice all the things we tried so hard to hide with our busy schedules. We notice how lost we feel. We notice how hard life has been. When we stop we give ourselves a chance to listen to the small guiding voice.
We get gentle.
We take a moment to breathe.
To hit pause on a life that never seems to stop moving.
I went on a hike a couple of days ago. It was beautiful. Spring was emerging. Green grass breaking through cold melting snow. I was eager to blaze the trails and get to my destination. But I didn’t. I went slow. I took my time. I soaked in the nature and let it effect me in the way that only nature can. Winter melting into spring, just as the seasons of my life are melting into each other. New life coming from what was once barren and ugly.
I took a moment to listen to what I had been to busy to hear.
My journey has taken me far and wide. The last year alone has been filed with devastating disappointment and overwhelming joy. I have broken and I have rebuilt. I became both malleable and resilient. And slowly I started to turn into the person I never thought I would be brave enough to be. How could I not be grateful of a journey that has brought me so far and taught me so much?
I have been so focused on where I am going that I have completely lost sight of where I am right now. I have being living my life like the destination is the point. It’s not. It’s the journey. It’s about finding the person we never believed we would be brave enough to be.
Life isn’t just about the big moments that take our breath away. It is also about the small moments, the forgotten moments. It is about taking our time to get where we are going. It is about life that is sweet and slow, not a life that is rushed through. It’s about taking the time to ponder where we have been and where we are going. It’s about being fully present in the moments we are given. It is about a life lived in the slow lane.