I am the type of person who is guided by my intuition. I trust it. I listen to it. I snuggle up close to it and let it make my decisions for me. I see a fact and needs something more. I need a sign – a feeling. A need my gut to jump up and say, “Yes, that is it. That one right there. That is right.”
I have been bouncing back and forth on law school for so many months now that even I find it annoying. I am going to go, I am not going to go, I am going to throw my arms up in the air and admit I have no idea what I want.
My intuition hasn’t been that helpful on this one. I have been too scared to really listen what my intuition was telling me.
Dreams are elusive. By that I mean that our dreams are hard to define. It is hard to take your dream and put it in a nice little box. That would make things easier wouldn’t it? Just open your nice little box and look through your dreams like old photographs.
Instead we are left chasing the elusive. We chase the feeling that there is something better out there, in we could only touch it. The driving whisper that tells us we can be more tomorrow if we just have the courage to try. If we could only define it. If we could only put it in a nice little box.
Some days I want to buy horses and an apple orchard, other days I want to storm congress. Most days I am left feeling like I have no idea what I want.
So I tried a different approach. I didn’t ask myself if I wanted to go to law school. I asked myself if I would feel like I gave up my dream if I didn’t go to school. In 10 or 20 years when I looked back on my life, would I regret never going to law school?
My answer shocked me. I didn’t think that I might regret it, or that there was maybe a chance I would regret it. My intuition was screaming at me that I would absolutely regret it. I think it has been screaming at me for a while now, I just didn’t have the courage to listen. The signs have been there for a while, I just have been fighting them because I am stubborn.
It will not always be easy, in fact I expect it will be very hard. It will not always be everything I dreamed, in fact it will rarely be close. But I have been telling people I wanted to be a lawyer since I was 13. I at least owe it to myself to give it my best shot, come hell or high water.
Sometimes the beauty is in the attempt.
The bravery we had when we took that first step, the grace we had the first time we failed, and the guts we had to pick ourselves back up and try again. There is so much to be lived in the messiness of life, because those are the moments that define who we are. That is why it is important to enjoy the moments that take our breath away; the moments that make our heart beat a little faster.
Can you feel it? The beating of your heart, the thrumming of your veins? Can feel the way your heart aches after it has been broken? What about the fear you feel when you finally find something worth fighting for?
Embrace that life and this moment are incredible gifts, no matter what you may be going through. Embrace that this moment is shaping the rest of your life.
Embrace that you will fail and that life won’t be what you expected it to, but don’t let that stop you from trying.
Embrace the uncertainty, embrace the fear, and embrace the restless stirring of your heart that pulls you to your feet to chase your dreams. Sometimes the beauty is in the attempt.
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive. -Oriah Mountain Dreame
Photo Credit: Christina Re
**** Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog. Please feel free to leave you comment in the comment section. Tell me about your dreams, I would love to hear them!