Long Friendships and Hard Goodbyes

It’s a strange thing to be young and have your whole life ahead of you waiting to be lived.  Life is both very short and very long.  It is a conundrum that leaves us feeling lost in our past and scared of our future.

Last week I was sitting on the deck with the people I have been friends with since my freshman year of college.  Which seems like it should have not been as long ago as it was.  We were sitting out there just listening to the rain crash down on the red Oklahoma dirt.  I now understand the phrase, “when it rains it pours,” because in the south when it rains it always pours.

Rain is good thinking weather.  I started thinking about how crazy it was that this might be one of the last times we are all together.  Maybe not the last, but certainly one of the few last times.   We are all growing up and moving on to become doctors, lawyers, and biologists.  At least that is what we will try to be.  Life might redirect us along the way.

Never the less, someday we will be moms and dads.  Some day this moment will be a distant nostalgic memory of the time we spent with friends we haven’t seen in years.

And I wonder, will we stay in contact over the years?  Will we continue to be apart of each others lives?  Or will life slowly pull us away from each other?  What will all of our lives be like in five years?  In ten years?  Will we be married? Parents?  Will we have succeed at becoming doctors, lawyers, and biologists?  Will we remember the nights we stayed up way too late?  Will we remember each other at all?

Of course we will, I think.  Moments and people like these are not easily forgotten. 

I think people come into our lives for a reason.  A deeper reason than  just our human need for relationship.  People are sent in certain times of our lives to teach us and to inspire us.  People are sent into our lives to show us there is someone in us worth believing in, that we have a future that is worth fighting for.

Some people are meant to be in our lives for a long time, maybe even for our whole lives.  I am blessed to have a large group of people who have been in my life for the long haul.  There are always there in my corner pushing me forward, believing in me far more than I deserve.

There are others for that are only meant to be in our lives for just a moment.  Those people should not be easily discounted.   Some times they can be the most influential people we met.  I can’t explain it, only that it seems life only gives us a few moments together so we fill it like a lifetime.

The hard part is when that time expires. When we must say goodbye to someone who has taught us so much. When we must move on because life is moving on.  When we must let someone out of our arms, not sure if they will ever return. 

I use to be scared of goodbyes.  I was scared of getting too close to someone because I knew one day soon they would be gone.  I have learned that hard goodbyes are a good thing, because it shows just how much that person meant to us in the first place.

I plan to live a life full of hard goodbyes, because no matter how hard a goodbye my be, it is still better than never knowing that person.

Friends 2

Photo Credit: Kari Lena

“There is a tide in the affairs of men.
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.”

– William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar

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8 thoughts on “Long Friendships and Hard Goodbyes

  1. This is a very thoughtful blog post. Looking back, I realize that I tend to have moments in my life defined by very intense friendships. There is the year of Dave, of Nicki, of Rachel, etc. I don’t keep up with these people. Thinking about keeping up with these people makes me think it’s really important to do. But we can’t relive our past in order to make a future. We need to be hopeful about the future because new friends will be in it. ❤ Thank you.

    • Thank you I am glad you liked it! I have some friendships that drift in and out of my life, but they always seem to come back right when we need each other.

  2. Pingback: Liebster Award | Of Whiskey and Words

  3. Hi Lori,
    It seems you know Todd Smidt. We were both his nominees for the Liebster Award!
    As far as your post. I love Facebook since I feel it makes staying in touch probable, so people don’t have to say goodbye. You are a great writer, by the way. I wish words like “conundrum” came to me when I write. “A reason, a season, a lifetime” –why people enter our lives–came into my mind as I read this.
    Thanks so much for your visit to my site Reflections today. I’m glad you liked my post about recycling blog posts.
    Janice

    • Congrats! I can’t wait to read your answers to the questions! Facebook is great in that way. I can still stay in contact with the people that I met in Africa, which is amazing! That being said, there is something irreplaceable about simply being in someone’s presence. Thank you so much! Part of the reason I love writing is because it helps me find the perfect word for what I am feeling.

      That sounds like a great blog. Do you have a link to it? I would love to check it out!

  4. Hi!
    Thanks, and congratulations to you too. Which blog? “A reason, a season, a lifetime?” It’s an expression. I don’t know where I heard it, not from a blog. I’m sure you could Google the origin.
    I came over to say thank you so much for following my blog. I would have welcomed you sooner, but I was on vacation Welcome!
    Janice

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