I first started my blog because my brother in law and I made a pack to start a blog at the same time. Tonight I read a blog that my brother in law wrote in which he tells the story of a man who told him, “You have a gift, don’t waste it.” These simple words spoke to my brother in law by a man I don’t even know really hit home with me.
As some of you may know, I am currently in the middle of trying to start an organization called Scribbles of Hope. What most of you don’t know is that I constantly feel like I have no idea what I am doing, and have no confidence in my ability to pull it off. Yep its honesty time. I have no confidence in my painting ability and that people would actually want my paintings; andI have no confidence in ability to get people’s attention about the issue sex trafficking (I don’t really see myself as the type of person that people pay attention to). So needless to say as I am planning to launch this organization in about a week, I am a little, ok a lot freaked out. Despite all of the wonderful people God has put into my life who believe in me, I still don’t believe in myself.
This last Sunday at church towards the end the service, there was time were we could come to the front of the church to kneel and pray. I went up to the front, determined to tell God that he had made a mistake, that he had picked the wrong girl, the wrong time, or maybe both. Instead I just knelt and cried. And cried. I hadn’t intended on crying, I didn’t even feel sad. But there is something about going to your Father asking for his help and in return being held in His love. And that is what happened. I flat out told God that I have no idea what I am doing and I cannot do this. And do you know what He told me? He told me, “Well of course you can’t do this. You were never meant to, that is why I am here. I WILL take care of everything. I just need you to be your crazy passionate self and do what I made you to do. The rest will fall into place.”
Can it really be that simple? That God isn’t asking for us to “have it all together” but that all He is asking is for us to be who he made us to be? Could it be that we already are everything that we need to be, but that we just don’t have the courage to believe in it? Could it be that all God is asking of us is that we don’t waste the gift that we already have in us? We don’t have to search to find our gift, and we don’t have to spend years hiding in our closet perfecting our gift. We are our gift, and our gift is us. It is one and the same thing, made inseparable by the one who made us. He isn’t asking anything from us other than that we follow Him and believe we can be who He made us to be. You have a gift, don’t you dare waste it.